Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
