im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
