didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
