You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
