We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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