I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize