we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
