Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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