You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
