oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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