I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
did you just send me my own nude
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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