idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
