Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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