I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
