I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
