We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
