You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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