Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
