You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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