I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
