whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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