Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
