she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
