I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
