Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize