Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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