That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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