just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
