OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
