so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
