Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
