All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
