I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
