The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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