Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
