There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
