lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
