So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize