It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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