You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
not ubering you a puppy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
