Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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