Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
