I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
