how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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