Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
