My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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