She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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