Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
