So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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