It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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