She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
