Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just google imaged poop.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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