just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have feelings that need drinking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
