he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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