there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
