I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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