I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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