Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize