i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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