we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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