You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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