If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
