ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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