I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
