the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
