we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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