Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
