It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
