You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
