Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
did i just pee glitter
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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