It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
