you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
