one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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