idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
