she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
