how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
