You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
