All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm like, not good at living.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
